Tuesday, November 6, 2001

tired but inspired // Emmy taught class for the second time today. Word of her presence sent shockwaves through the locker room before class this morning. She worked us hard the last time and people were afraid she was going to do it again. I do my best not to care who teaches and to approach each class with the same intention and commitment. I have no particular fear regarding Emmy teaching even though she speaks with a Slavic-sounding accent while saying things like, "Some of you look like such wimps. This is not any Om-Shakti-Shanti-Contemplate-Your-Navel-Yoga. This is Bikram yoga. You've got to work at it, don't just sit there." Emmy is the one who presented us with a lecture on the finer points of pain. She and Bikram interupted a lecture recently, fresh from their advanced class, and demonstrated an advanced posture. I forget what it's called but it's basically a head/shoulder stand with the legs up in the air, crossed in lotus position. Bikram needed some assistance getting his legs into position, which Emmy provided, but she moved into it effortlessly. When they were done, Bikram admitted that Emmy looked better in the posture than he did. Talk about your inspiration... Emmy is 74 years old.

I'm still feeling reticent. I've got a lot going on with my body and emotions and I don't really feel like talking about it all in any depth. The body stuff is nothing more than what I've expected -- joints opening, muscles stretching, muscles resisting, muscles straining, stiffness, soreness, fatigue, etc. It's a challenge but it's also manageable and I'm being careful not to let it go beyond what I can handle. The emotional stuff is deep and very personal. I know exactly what it's all about but I'm not ready to delve into it while surrounded by 270 people with whom I haven't established the kind of trust neccessary for such intimacy. I'm doing well with it and I know what I ultimately want to do with it all -- I just don't want to share it yet, if at all, with this group. This is also one of the reasons that I haven't been writing much lately.

I'm also short on details about the program and my daily observations and lessons because words are insufficent to completely and accurate convey the depths of those experiences and insights. I'm getting much satisfaction from the program overall. I am learning a lot about my body, my self and my emotions. I am also learning a lot about Bikram and his yoga method. I am grateful for the experience and I am confident that the benefits will be significant and profound. I am also building a solid foundation upon which I will be able to continue to grow in my practice for a lifetime. It's truly a transformative process that I'm going through and one that I've been waiting for for a long time. Yippee.

That's it for this mid-week entry. Since I missed writing this past weekend I wanted to send at least a brief note letting you know I'm still kicking (and locking the knee!). I've got fourteen topics in my notes about which I hope to write when I get the time and energy. However, I'm making sure that I pace myself and don't let the writing intefere with my daily routine so it's possible I may never get to them all. Perhaps during my drive back to Atlanta I'll be able to wrap up whatever loose ends remain.

chow for now

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